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October 25th, 2006
Love’s Dance
Good Morning,
I’m in a mad dash to wrap up all of these little loose ends so I can start writing again sometime this week. Therefore, I’ll keep this short and sweet. Hope you are all doing well and having a wonderful time.
take care,
Skye Thomas
Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
Long Live the American Dream!
Quote of the Week:
“I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.” – J.D. Salinger
“Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” – Isadora Duncan
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” – Katherine Hepburn
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
This Week’s News of Interest:
The new full-
Feature Article of the Week:
Too Many Divorces
My oldest son asked me something the other day about all the news regarding the high divorce rate. I told him there aren’t too many divorces, there’s too many marriages. Most people get married without really knowing who they are marrying or just how big of a commitment they are making. Heck, most people get married before they even know themselves very well. When the reality of it all hits them, they are either stuck in a bad marriage for life, or they get a divorce. Education is the solution.
Know yourself well before committing yourself to a life of marriage to another person.
Are you really ready? Are you done playing the field? Do you still have wild oats
to sow? Is your career or higher education going to get in the way of your ability
to really build a life with someone else? What are your beliefs about marriage?
Are you a high maintenance or low maintenance personality? Are you ready for kids?
Do you even want kids? How exactly do you plan on raising them? Are you going
to be a smothering parent or one who pushes the child into independence? Tough love
or doting? What kind of financial lifestyle do you want? Can you achieve it before
you have kids or should you wait and have kids later when you’ve set things up just
so? How much intimacy do you want, need, prefer? How accommodating are you to other
people’s needs? Are you a team player or a bit self-
Know your partner before proposing or accepting their proposal. Are they really ready? Do you trust them not to cheat? What are their career aspirations? What are their spiritual beliefs and how important are they to them? What religion does your partner want to raise your children in? Are they high maintenance or low? Do you have what it takes to please them? Are they the type that will naturally please you without having to force yourselves to take care of each other? Do they want kids? If so, when? What kind of financial lifestyle do they want to raise a family in? Are they the type to want to just dive in and trust that everything will turn out okay or do they have a plan that they’re going to want you to agree to and follow with them? What is their parenting style and beliefs? How much intimacy does your partner like? How well do they compromise with others? Again, there are no right or wrong answers, but you need to know these things about the other person before agreeing to marry them.
I heard a wonderful New Age definition of marriage recently. They said marriage is the act of agreeing to live out someone else’s karma with them. So ask yourself, what’s my partner’s karma look like? What comes around goes around. What are they putting out into the world? And what kind of energy are you putting out into the world? Would it be fair to ask someone to join you in your karma? Be honest.
Young people really need to be educated as to what marriage is. So many girls accept
the first proposal that comes along assuming it’s the best they’ll ever get. The
fear of being alone makes us afraid to say “no” to someone who is not necessarily
the right partner for us. I suspect the boys are doing the same thing. Our fear
of being alone and our low self-
The adults I know who have gone through repeat marriages and divorces are all still making that same mistake. They are marrying the rush of emotions before doing their homework and finding out who they are actually in love with. We are in love with being in love. Beautiful stuff, but often a sure formula for divorce once reality hits. If we can learn how to take a step back and bring our heads in where our hearts have taken over, I think we could save ourselves a lot of heartache down the line. Yeah, we probably would not get married as early in life, because it will take a while to find the right one. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. The older and wiser we are, the better the chances that we are going to be able to openly and honestly present ourselves to potential mates.
As a society, if we would just wait for the right one to come along, we would see a huge drop in the divorce rate. There will always be weird unexpected things that happen, but overall marriage would actually have a fighting chance at being a “happily ever after” thing again. Choose wisely and hold it sacred when you do find that special someone. Know just how rare and special they are. And give thanks daily once you find them.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge
Sometimes it’s hard to figuring things out logically when our hearts are involved. Are you looking for help with love & compatibility questions? Or do you just need someone to talk to who can help you figure out what is best for you in the long run?
Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
Long Live the American Dream!
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps
of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying personal growth,
motivation, soulmates, self-
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