Are the voices in my

head guardian angels

or spirit guides?

How do I know if I

can trust them?

Do I have to do what

they tell me to do?

How can I know if

they are good or evil?

What if I’m crazy?

Voices

Divinity or Insanity?

answers these questions

and more

40 of Skye Thomas’ most popular articles have been brought together to create this magical book.  Give it as a gift to someone going through a rough time to show them

your love and support.  Give

it to your teenagers as a series of life lessons to help them get through the difficulties of becoming adults.  Give it to yourself as a reminder that

you have what it takes to

get through the dramas that

life throws your way.  

When All Else Fails,

Find Your Heart’s Song and Sing Louder!

is one of those pick-me-ups

that you can rely on to always be there like a good friend ready to cheer you up on a cloudy day.

Who can I trust with

my heart?

What type of person

is naturally

compatible with me?

Who will love me for

who I am on the inside?

Who is naturally loyal

and faithful?

Why Do I Keep Falling

in Love With the

Wrong People?

answers these questions

and more

How can I stop the

negative self-talk from ruining my life?

How can I conquer my negativity and become a naturally positive person?

Why am I so fearful

of trying new things?

How can I improve

my self-esteem?

Beyond the Inner Critic

answers these questions

and more

Quirky Goodies can be found at our

Tomorrow’s Edge

Gift Shoppe

Love & Compatability       Angels & Spirituality       Horoscopes & Astrology       Self-Confidence & Personal Development       Skye Thomas

Articles       Books       Newsletters       Abundance & Prosperity       Family & Friends       Contact Us       ...and so much more

July 7th, 2008

Looking Up

Good morning,

Today’s newsletter is for those of you entertaining small children home for the summer break.  

take care,

Skye Thomas

Tomorrow's Edge

...inspiring leaps of faith

www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Long Live the American Dream!

This Week's News of Interest:

Kid Friendly Websites

We found a couple of interesting sites this morning…

www.LooneyTunes.com

www.Seussville.com

http://Disney.go.com

Quote of the Week:

“If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.” - Jacqueline Kennedy

Phrases and their actual meanings: “My teacher has never liked me.”  Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly. - Erma Bombeck

“Use what talent you possess - the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” - Henry Van Dyke

Feature Article of the Week:

Toddlers and Self-Esteem

Honestly, self-esteem is not taught to little babies and toddlers.  It is an innate sense that drives them to roll over, to crawl, to walk, to begin speaking, and to learn how to get their basic needs met.  Children are naturally self-confident.  Babies and toddlers do not say, “What if I can’t accomplish this goal?  Perhaps I should settle for less and just do without that toy.  I don’t really need to learn to walk.  I can lay here forever.”  We do not have to coach a baby to feel good about themselves so that they will learn how to hold their own bottle or how to manipulate a toy.  The toy exists and they simply want to reach for it.  The bottle is there and they simply want to hold onto it.  Learning new things is just what they do without any thoughts about self-esteem and their ability to succeed.  Either we reinforce their sense of self, or we systematically destroy it.  

Why would anyone destroy a child’s self-esteem?  Rarely do parents and other adults in a child’s life make a conscious decision that they want to raise a child to have low self-esteem.  Typically, the parents have no idea they are even doing it and worse, if you tell them so, they become quite defensive about it.  After all, they love their child so how can it be their fault that their child’s self-esteem is low?  The word ‘parent’ is meant to describe any adult in the role of guardianship.  A ‘parent’ is a steward who must watch over the child’s well-being and insure that nothing happens to mess with the child’s development.

It is the parents’ job to protect the child’s self-esteem by setting up and monitoring their environment so that the child can grow, learn, reach, aspire, and accomplish goals.  Through real accomplishments and real achievements, real self-esteem is reinforced.  Children know when they are being handed a ribbon just for showing up and when they are receiving a real award that took hard work and determination to earn it.  The parent does not give the child self-esteem, but sets up opportunities and lessons that allows the child to develop and grow into a balanced sense of self that knows their own personal limits and their own personal gifts.

It is the parents’ job to make sure that siblings, family friends, teachers, and others who come into contact with the child are not allowed to verbally tear a child’s sense of identity apart.  Nobody, including the parents, should be allowed to belittle the child, abuse the child, or in any way make the child feel that they are an inferior human being.  No name-calling should ever be allowed.  The child should not be allowed to say such things, as “I’m stupid.”  The child needs to be taught the power of words and thoughts and if someone calls the child stupid, dumb, or in any other way ridicules the child’s ability to accomplish their own dreams, the parent has an obligation to stand up to the bully and say that they are wrong.  Children need to hear adults speaking up in their defense.  

Through trust and honesty the adult earns the child’s respect and in times of doubt, hearing a trusted adult say that they believe in the child’s ability to succeed can mean the world to that child.  If the adult is someone who always offers sappy unearned praise for inferior performances, then that adult is not going to be a real cheerleader in the child’s eyes.  They will discount that parent’s statement as simply being prejudice or worse they will think the adult is lying.  It can backfire causing the child to assume that since the adult lies to them about their abilities that the adult must not really believe in them.  As a parent, we have to talk straight with our children and give them real tips and pointers about how to succeed.  Do not just slobber ‘Yeah!  Good job!’ all over them when they have not really earned it.  When they fail, you have to teach them how to handle failure.  That means teaching them how to analyze what went wrong and how to improve their performance for the next time.  It also means teaching them how to get back up in the saddle to ride again.  

Often as parents, we want to protect our children from feeling like failures.  We think the experience of failing causes our children to lose heart and give up.  The truth is that part of growing and reaching beyond our comfort zones involves failing once in awhile.  If you protect your child from ever seeing himself or herself as less than a winner, then you rob them of the opportunity to learn tenacity and determination.  You do not carry a toddler around on your hip and give them rewards for learning how to walk.  You put them down on the ground and let them fall down and get up and fall down and get up and fall down.  You can cheer them for their tenacity, but you have to let them figure out how to do it without your help.  Successfully accomplishing their goals is what builds a ‘can do’ attitude.

It is not our job to make sure they always win and they always succeed.  It is our job to make sure that nobody interferes with their ability to learn how to win and how to succeed.  You protect the environment, set the atmosphere for self-growth, self-determination, self-discovery of one’s own natural talents and one’s natural limitations.  You coach them, but you do not lie to them about their successes.  You cheer them on but you do not tell them that they are a winner if their work was sloppy or less than their best.  When a child really works hard and gives it their all, then yes they have a winner’s drive and a winner’s attitude, but do not reward them as if they have crossed the finish line.  Real self-esteem is earned; it is not given to someone as a consolation prize.

Copyright 2005, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

Need someone to talk to about quieting your own inner critic?  Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.  

Tomorrow's Edge

...inspiring leaps of faith

www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Long Live the American Dream!

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith.  She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying personal growth, motivation, soulmates, self-esteem, parenting, spirituality, metaphysics, family dynamics, dating, and astrology.  Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness.  To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.  To read more about Skye and to sign up to receive one or more of her free newsletters, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.  

 

If someone forwarded this newsletter to you and you would like to be included on a regular basis, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words “free motivational newsletter” in the subject line so our spam filters will know that you are a real person.  We will be happy to add you to the list.

 

To unsubscribe from this newsletter, send a blank email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net.  We will make sure you are promptly removed without any hassles.  This may sound obvious, but send it from the same email address that we send this to or the automated system will think you are opting a new address into the system instead of removing an old one.

To change email addresses, opt out of the old address by sending an email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net and then opt in with the new address by sending an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words “free motivational newsletter” in the subject line so our spam filters will know that you are a real person.