Are the voices in my

head guardian angels

or spirit guides?

How do I know if I

can trust them?

Do I have to do what

they tell me to do?

How can I know if

they are good or evil?

What if I’m crazy?

Voices

Divinity or Insanity?

answers these questions

and more

40 of Skye Thomas’ most popular articles have been brought together to create this magical book.  Give it as a gift to someone going through a rough time to show them

your love and support.  Give

it to your teenagers as a series of life lessons to help them get through the difficulties of becoming adults.  Give it to yourself as a reminder that

you have what it takes to

get through the dramas that

life throws your way.  

When All Else Fails,

Find Your Heart’s Song and Sing Louder!

is one of those pick-me-ups

that you can rely on to always be there like a good friend ready to cheer you up on a cloudy day.

Who can I trust with

my heart?

What type of person

is naturally

compatible with me?

Who will love me for

who I am on the inside?

Who is naturally loyal

and faithful?

Why Do I Keep Falling

in Love With the

Wrong People?

answers these questions

and more

How can I stop the

negative self-talk from ruining my life?

How can I conquer my negativity and become a naturally positive person?

Why am I so fearful

of trying new things?

How can I improve

my self-esteem?

Beyond the Inner Critic

answers these questions

and more

Quirky Goodies can be found at our

Tomorrow’s Edge

Gift Shoppe

Love & Compatability       Angels & Spirituality       Horoscopes & Astrology       Self-Confidence & Personal Development       Skye Thomas

Articles       Books       Newsletters       Abundance & Prosperity       Family & Friends       Contact Us       ...and so much more

September 14th, 2009

Looking Up

Good morning,

Allow me to give a quick update to those of you who wrote emails to me and who sent lovely messages through MySpace and Facebook.  My son made it home safely although with some cracked ribs.  He quickly went back to his normal life of juggling college classes, a job, a girlfriend, and all of that stuff that 20 year old boys find so important.  I think he enjoyed the days of extra pampering from his girlfriend.  

Anyway, I am still feeling rather sentimental about children, so here is another parenting article.  Although the message is really about how we can help the people we care about get through a tough time.

take care,

Skye Thomas

Tomorrow's Edge

...inspiring leaps of faith

www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,

life coaching, & horoscopes.

This Week's News of Interest:

October 2009 Horoscopes

The new forecasts should go out Sunday or Monday.  If you do not see your copy by Tuesday morning, send us a note so we can resend it to you.

Here are the links for those of you who like to read the forecasts online...

Aries October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Taurus October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Gemini October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Cancer October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Leo October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Virgo October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Libra October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Scorpio October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Sagittarius October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Capricorn October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Aquarius October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Pisces October 2009 Monthly Horoscope

Quote of the Week:

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

You can understand and relate to most people better if you look at them -- no matter how old or impressive they may be -- as if they are children. For most of us never really grow up or mature all that much -- we simply grow taller. O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales. - Leo Rosten

Before you were conceived I wanted you

Before you were born I loved you

Before you were here an hour I would die for you

This is the miracle of life.

- Maureen Hawkins

Feature Article of the Week:

What the Matter Is

Years ago, when my oldest boy was quite young, he tickled my mother with that phrase.  I would ask him, "What's the matter?" and he would answer me, "Well, what the matter is..." followed by whatever it was that he needed to discuss with me.  He would say it with that very serious face that small children get when they are expecting us to take them seriously.  We all loved the cute way he prefaced his concerns.

I overheard my daughter talking to my two-year old the other day and it caused me to remember those days long ago when her older brother used to talk about 'what the matter is.'  At thirteen, Sissy is a natural healer and nurturer.  She hovers over her baby brother kissing all of his owies and making sure that life is gentle and kind to him.  We have many debates about how much mothering is smothering, but that is another topic for another day.  What caught my attention that day was that while our little one was whining and grumbling in his two-year old lingo, she was continually asking him, "What's wrong?"  She repeatedly asked it in the most loving and dear voice.  "What's wrong?"  You could definitely tell that she was genuinely concerned and wanted to know what was bothering him and how could she help.  "What's wrong?"  Over and over she asked him, "What's wrong?" as he babbled incoherently at her about something that was obviously 'wrong' in his world.

I found myself getting really annoyed.  The more she asked him that question, the more I was irritated by it.  But why?  I began thinking about why that particular question repeated in such a sugarcoated voice was bothering me so much.  Then it hit me.  This is the core of where we learn to think that something is wrong with our lives.  It's that question asked of us since the cradle.  "What's wrong?"  That gets us thinking that something is actually wrong.

I told her to shift her question to "What's the matter?"  I told her that it means the same as "What's the topic?"  She could also say like, "Tell me why you are upset."  Or ask him "Why are you crying?"  She could also ask him, "How can I help?"  Make the conversation about the topic or event without actually assuming that something in life must be 'wrong'.  Just because we are upset or frustrated does not mean that life is wrong.

Asking someone, "What's wrong?" immediately puts them into the mind frame of describing what is wrong with their circumstances.  They focus only on the negative and not on problem solving or solutions.  They aren't focused on their own role in creating the situation.  By asking someone, "What's wrong?" we are doing them a disservice.  We are sending them down the wrong path.  The goal should be to guide them towards finding peace within the moment, towards finding solutions, towards self-esteem, and other things that help them move through the difficult times in their life.

Personal power can come from a small shift in vocabulary.  My personal favorite is to ask, "So tell me, what do you need?"  Another favorite is, "So, what do you want to do about it?"  This immediately puts them into a place of looking at a future where the negative circumstances are no longer perceived as such.  What skills and tools would help them to overcome their problem?  These types of questions also open up the door so that I can also propose that they might need to make a shift in attitude towards the problem or person that is bothering them.  From that point, we can begin to take inventory of what skills and tools they already posses.  We can begin looking at how to implement the changes they want to see.  We can also begin brainstorming for ways to manifest whatever skills or tools they might need to acquire.  It is a very solution-oriented question.  Quite often, I do not end up doing much of anything to actually fix their problems.  Mostly, I just pose the right questions to get their minds moving in a different direction other than being angry or hurt by their experiences.  If they really need my help, then naturally I roll up my sleeves and pitch in, but rarely do they need anything more than a different attitude and approach to life's ups and downs.

This change in how we can show our care and compassion towards others applies to everyone regardless of age.  Try it the next time a coworker is grumbling about the boss.  Ask them, "Well, what do you think we should do to start making changes around here?"  The next time your teenager starts sniveling about how unfair life is, ask them, "How do you propose we make it more fair for everyone involved and not just you?"  When you find your spouse looking like they are close to tears, ask, "How can I help you to feel better?"  These types of questions get the person looking forward towards a time when they might not be miserable anymore.

With little kids especially, it would really help to use these kinds of questions to mold their original understandings about problem solving.  It's better to get them used to looking towards creating a life they find joyful rather than towards finding fault with the world.  We simply cannot fix everything for them, and we should not teach them to whine and complain.  We have to teach them that it is possible to turn adversity into opportunity.  We really owe it to our children to teach them how to open up and ask for help when they are overwhelmed.  At the same time, we have to make sure they know they will be solving their own problems.  It is never too soon to teach our children how to take responsibility for what kind of experiences they are having.  Help them when they really need it, but most of the time they just need to be reminded that they are perfectly capable of fixing it themselves.

Need someone to talk to about parenting?  Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Tomorrow's Edge

...inspiring leaps of faith

www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,

life coaching, & horoscopes.

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith.  She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying personal growth, motivation, soulmates, self-esteem, parenting, spirituality, metaphysics, family dynamics, dating, and astrology.  Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness.  To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.  To read more about Skye and to sign up to receive one or more of her free newsletters, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.  

 

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