November 27th, 2006
Confidence Matters
Good Morning,
Today’s feature article was written almost two years ago about a huge research study
that was done to find out the real effects of self-esteem and self-confidence upon
the majority of people. This article lists the highlights of what they found.
take care,
Skye Thomas
ps – check out the apology listed below
Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net
Long Live the American Dream!
Quote of the Week:
"Defeat is simply a signal to press onward." -- Helen Keller, author, lecturer
"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't
know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to." -- George Allen
This Week’s News of Interest:
An Apology
We have 20 different monthly newsletters that we send out emails to each month. (12
are individual zodiac signs’ monthly forecasts.) We had two advertisements to send
out last week, so we plugged them into our automated mailing system and told it to
send out a copy to all of the mailing lists. What we didn’t realize is that the
mailer does NOT know NOT to send out duplicates. Some of you received waaaay too
many copies of the same two ads. For that we want to apologize. It was never our
intent to spam you. Once we hit “send” there was no taking it back and we had to
just hang our heads in shame and hope that you wouldn’t start throwing things at
us! We are truly sorry and will figure out how NOT to repeat that mistake before
sending out next year’s holiday ads.
December 2006 Forecasts
The new forecasts were emailed to the subscribers and posted to the website last
week. There is a lot of good stuff happening, so go check them out when you get
a chance.
Annual Book Sale 10-20% off
This is the only book sale we have all year. All of our books are on sale for 10-20%
off from Wednesday November 22nd through Sunday December 10th.
Semi-Annual Horoscope Sale 25% off
Our personalized astrology forecasts go on sale twice each year – once in June and
again in December. All 1-month, 3-month, and 6-month personalized forecasts are
25% off from Wednesday November 22nd through Sunday December 10th.
Feature Article of the Week:
Does Self-Esteem Even Matter?
There was an article in the January 2005 issue of Scientific American entitled Exploding
the Self-Esteem Myth. It is a very well written analysis of what scientists and
mental health experts have found after decades of studying self-esteem. If you have
the time, I would highly recommend reading the full version of it. If not, I will
do my best to paraphrase what it said. Some of the results were rather surprising:
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
work performance. This means that people with low self-esteem are just as good at
doing their jobs as people with high self-esteem and vice versa. The studies did
not show that a higher sense of self-esteem makes you better at doing your job. Your
opinion of yourself does not necessarily match your coworkers and your boss’s opinion
of you.
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
academic abilities. Kids with higher grade point averages did not necessarily have
high self-esteem and kids with lower grade point averages did not necessarily have
low self-esteems. Students did not necessarily perform at a level that correlates
with their grades. Teachers’ evaluations of students’ abilities did not always correlate
with the students’ performance nor with their sense of self-esteem. Your opinion
of yourself does not necessarily match your academic abilities.
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
appearance. That means that plenty of good-looking people still had low self-esteem
and plenty of average and even ugly looking people have high self-esteem. They did
not find that high self-esteem even made you more inclined to care about your appearance.
Your opinion of yourself does not necessarily match how others rate you on physical
attractiveness.
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
popularity. Plenty of folks with high self-esteem were not popular or even liked
by their peers. Plenty of folks with low self-esteem were very well liked and admired.
Your opinion of yourself does not necessarily match how much others like you.
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
ability to get along with others. When roommates and family members were asked to
rate those being studied on their ability to communicate and to work through interpersonal
issues, it was found that people with low self-esteem were just as good at connecting
and working through issues as those with high self-esteem. People with high self-esteem
were just as capable of screwing up relationships and upsetting those around them.
· There was no correlation found between a person’s sense of self-esteem and their
attitudes towards premarital sex. People studied did not have more or less premarital
sex based upon their sense of self-esteem. They actually found that teenagers with
an extremely high sense of self-esteem were more likely to have premarital sex then
any other group.
· There was no correlation found between drug and alcohol use with regards to the
user’s self-esteem. Sometimes people with a high sense of self-esteem consume these
substances from a belief that they are invincible. It is part of the wild and reckless
behaviors that can result from an extremely high self-esteem. Other times it is
a drowning of sorrows that results from low self-esteem. It can also be a simple
curiosity that starts someone down the path. They are simply sucked in by the addictive
qualities of the various substances. Why someone does or does not start doing drugs
or drinking alcohol can have nothing to do with their self-esteem.
· They did find a direct correlation between bullies and self-esteem. For years,
we have been told that bullies are really hurting and suffering from low self-esteem,
that their aggression was a form of overcompensating. Turns out that is not at all
true. Bullies ranked as having very high self-esteem and the higher their self-esteem
went, the more aggressive and violent they were willing to become.
· They did find a direct correlation between self-esteem and eating disorders. Regardless
of gender, low self-esteem definitely plays a huge factor in this particular area.
So, what good is self-esteem? If our opinions of ourselves can be so different from
how everyone else sees us? Too much self-esteem seems to promote promiscuity and
bully type behaviors and too little can create dangerous issues regarding body image.
What does it matter where we are in-between these two extremes?
The overwhelming trait for those with a positive balanced sense of self-esteem is
a sense of well-being and happiness. It was shown in the studies that those with
a higher self-esteem would walk away from bad relationships and unhealthy circumstances.
They were not as inclined to stick around if things were not in their own best interest.
They were found to have more self-confidence and initiate more conversations, more
dates, more sales contacts, etc. They are not afraid to step up to the plate and
get into the game of life. It was not a superior quality that made these people
more successful in their occupations, academics, and interpersonal relationships,
but simply a desire to stay happy and to not be stopped by negative internal dialog.
Success and self-esteem are something like the chicken and the egg… which came first?
Will a handful of successes build one’s self-esteem? Often, but not always. Does
self-esteem lead to success? Often, but not always. The two do seem to go hand
in hand more often than not. A moderate to high sense of self-esteem appears to
do little more then give us the confidence to tackle life with gusto. It does not
guarantee us friends, love, money, or success. A low self-esteem serves no purpose
other than to talk us out of even trying to achieve friends, love, money, and success.
There are no guarantees regardless of your sense of self. Improving your self-esteem
will not make you better looking, smarter, or wealthier. It will however make you
stop agreeing to those behaviors, people, and choices that keep you from succeeding.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge
Looking for something positive to say about yourself?
Try our personality profiles or life coaching.
We can tell you what’s great about you!
Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net
Long Live the American Dream!
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps
of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying personal growth,
motivation, soulmates, self-esteem, parenting, spirituality, metaphysics, family
dynamics, dating, and astrology. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts
have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit
of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology
forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to sign up to
receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.
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